The Saga of being spiritual – II "Going inwards"

 “You can love it, you can hate it, but you cannot ignore it”

I discussed in the first part of this series, the irony of expression. I can give my best shot but even my best buddy cannot get what I have experienced, that is why listening of others spiritual experiences is either joyful (If the listener is a seeker) or expression of “kya aisa hota hai!” (For a person who will seek this this knowledge later, because in the world of spirituality there is no word called “non seeker”. Either a person is seeker or the person will come to this path later), in both the case there is a sense of amazement remains. For a seeker experience of listening is like…ya ya go ahead, “bahot maza aa raha hai”, yes, “mere saath bhi aisa hi hua hai”, “are sachhi, tum jo kar rahe ho bilkul sahi hai” but I cannot express. Both the side is contended as well as remain with the feeling “something is missing”. And for late seekers the expression is like; “O really! Wow yaar, I know this is good thing, I wish I could do it”. And limited expression prevails. And those three magical questions

Who am I?

What am I doing?

Why am I doing all this?

Being spiritual is not an act; it’s an instance when time meets with mind, the mind meets the self and self meets the time. It sounds very complex but it is true. The impressions of past experiences are so strong that ego always pushes the mind to move outwards. It searches the definition of happiness in situation, object and person (SOP). Some time it gets also but that is momentarily. How much a particular SOP will give joy? The impermanence of the nature changes the SOP in every moment and the moment we use to love the SOP has already been changed. That is why this whole world is called SOaP Opera. Things come and go. Thoughts come and Go. Feelings rise and fall. And these things, thoughts and feelings left us in the midst of the emotions. Even Yogis are also not untouched to this situation. They also get affected by this whole sole SOaP opera of this world. They get attached to someone; their feelings also leave them in the midst of the emotional waves. Once somebody asked me someday than what is the difference between a Yogi and the normal human being. I did put it in this way, a yogi is not a person who came from the sky, he also born out of love. He also had the same food and wore the same cloth. The only difference is that the knowledge has dawn in his life, and most importantly the capability to “Let Go” the things. He sees the situation just like a play and easily co-relates it with the knowledge. He knows his boundary and can observe the rise and fall of his emotions.

If we observe our whole emotions are based on the outer circumference of the circle. Whole life is the journey of making the circumference bigger and bigger and bigger. We think that bigger the circumference will be more the happiness will get captured into it. But in the whole process of making the circumference bigger we forget that we move away from the center, from where the life has started. And time comes when returning from the circumference to center become a big challenge. Even we don’t find a rickshaw. We increase the circumference to find love and get to be loved, but get nothing. And than the term “going inwards” becomes just two words. The interesting point is that the diameter of the different circles may be different and that is why we think that every person is different from me or I am different from others, but center is just a point and its shape and size can never be different. And that is why when “inward journey” come in life the differences get demolish. And then realization comes that it is journey of “Somebody to nobody and from nobody to everybody”.

The Saga of being spiritual - I

“Living the knowledge requires track of the mind every time”.

The substance called love and devotion gave birth to these lines and measuring the amount is really difficult. Someone can go 99% near to that but exactly 100% seems close to impossible. I am talking about the line that has been written by “Saint Ravidas” a very famous spiritual poet some thousands years ago.

 “Prabhuji tum chandan hum paani, Jake ang baas samani”.

  “Prabhuji tum tum ghan ban hum mora, jaise chitwat chand chakora”.

The epitome of love and devotion. This love only can be felt when mind will function exactly similar to the situation when it has been written and devotion only can be felt when the same amount of spirituality will dawn.

            This is the real saga of “Being Spiritual”. There is huge gap between the experience and expression of the person on this side of the river and experience and expression of the person at the other side. Person of the other side may feel that grass is greener at the opposite bank but the person residing this side will be happy and contended with the color of grass he is having. Many people ask me what is this all about? In this many people includes my closest also. I almost feel helpless to explain, what this is all about? Sometimes I feel short of words and sometimes when words are in abundance, the expression behind the word lags. That is why my Guruji told; “This mode of communication has got limitation”.

            Does love also have some limitation? Now this is one big question, because to understand the limits of love we have to find out what love is, first. But atleast for one lifetime I can term it as limitless. If love does not have limitation than expressing it in limited words will always be like cracking a tough nut through small steel ball. Many of my friends give the example of Indian sweet ball called “Gulab Jamun”. Untill unless you will not eat the “Gulab Jamun” you cannot get its taste and nobody can explain the real taste. That is why the beautiful devotional lines of “Saint Ravidas” have just become either a beautiful song or some black curves on white paper.

            Somewhere I read this; it is very difficult to get three things.

1. A human Birth.

2. A questionable mind to ask “who am I”.

3. Company of an enlightened master, who can guide you, the path.

From the word path I remember one very beautiful story of “Adi Shankaracharya”. Adi Shankaracharya, who did incredible job in his short life span. He was the one who showed the way of real path. He was the one who preached that the real magic is when we “walk on the path” and not just admiring the path and worshiping the path makers (Nowadays we call it God or Guru). Most of us nowadays do the same. We visit the temple worship the god through various rituals but at the end we forget it’s the path which made the idol a God not the content of physical appearance. Is it due to the laziness? Or choosing the easiest way? It’s true that walking on the path is a big challenge and sometimes our body or sometimes mind will try to pull you back. Hurdles are very high but the fruit is also very tasty. But whatever we think, whatever we do the question will remain as it is:

Who am I?

What am I doing?

Why am I doing all this?

The Identity Crisis

Who am I? Who are you? Who are we?

I am working for a Japanese automobile company, and after working here for more than three year I really came to know about the meaning of “Oneness”. They answered my question of one breed, one breath and one belief. Though they do not believe in any form of god, any strange rituals, greedy identity of castism and communalism but the thing they believe is working under one flag. August 6, 1945 was the black day in the history of this country. The country of “rising sun” was about to sat; the country was on the verge of finishing. But the unity and oneness that they have shown is not hidden, became the superpower in just 50 years. 1947 we also got the freedom from British rule logically both the country has started at almost same point of time and now they take work from us and we provide services to them on nominal charges. It is immaterial to discuss what they have achieved but the point is how they have achieved. I never heard from any of my Japanese colleague about the word discrimination, discrimination on the basis of age, cast and religion. An older person is always ready to give his cooperation to the younger one even if the younger one holds the higher visiting card. The only question which arises in my mind is why we are so obsessed with these factors? What satisfaction it gives to us when we say, my name is superior, my cast is superior, my religion is superior, my town, my degree, my dog, my mobile phone, my brand of underwear, my state and blah blah blah…the list is endless, everything which is associated to me is superior than the person next to me.

Are we so obsessed with the Identity? Or we became the victim of Identity crisis? Since my childhood I heard many stories and jokes which portrayed that we Indian are the best. Some times joke flows like this, where 3 people are traveling in a plane, American, British and Indian and finally joke ends with a crux that Indian beat both American and British in terms of intellect and behavior. I have seen Indian always win though we loose in many fronts but in “text” we always win. We talk about our great culture and unity in diversity. When I hear the word Unity especially in diversity I just laugh. I laugh because unity is just a word. No one has the willingness to accept other face. Whether its love, hatred, respect or jealousy. We have created an invisible barrier around us that we never allow diverse people to get in and the barrier of “Me superior”. We behave that other peoples are just a breed of morons. A Bihari treated as rickshaw wala, marathi as fool, south Indian as black, bangali as asshole, Punjabi as show off and so on, 28 state 28 categories to define. Irony is within the state also there is discrimination. Love is the last thing that we can do as we give our spare time to god. Before falling in love the checklist is important. The checklist which can satisfy that the person you love and the each and every living organism associated with the beloved holy creature is falling under the perquisite requirement. You never know sometime you have to satisfy the checklist of the pet (if your beloved has got a pet). Where is the spontaneity? Where is Love? And in which dictionary I can find the deifinition of belongingness? Where is freedom of thoughts and flying of imaginations? Life became a kite, a kite which has got many strings attached to it. Anyone can pull the string according to the desire he/she is carrying and the kite has to fly without wind. Where is love dear god?

What prompted me to write this blog is the marriage situation of two birds. The birds were staying on a tree next to my apartment. I have seen the days when the she bird was alone, aloof and at the position where trust was the only a word for her. Nature has sent a he bird for her. The he bird, full of enthusiasm and spontaneity brought lots of smile on her face and things started becoming normal. Both became very good friend and started sharing the joy of being very good friend. He bird was admiring her beauty and playful nature and she bird was admiring his knowledge and livelihood. He bird started looking her as a prospect for life partner and so does she bird. But here came the role of father of she bird, I am not sure what kind of personality that big bird was but certainly he is the victim of identity crisis. My cast, my religion, my tree, my feather, my color and My locality. Life came to an abandoned station where no train can come; friendship had been sacrificed due to identity crisis. And now situation is two birds don’t talk to each other. It may be a pre mature evaluation to judge their situation but this is what I could have observed from my balcony.  Then I realized that we have created this diversity either to increase our own hollow self confidence or to hide our emptiness of knowledge. The knowledge of being self and not skin. We cannot see that this identity is of our skin and flesh.

“Ram naam satya hai”, this is what we pronounce when we carry the load of any dead flesh on our shoulder or become the part of last journey. But for whom we chant? Is it for the flesh which cannot listen, or for self realization that the only truth is the name of “Lord Rama”? This is just a “lip service”, or the best we can give to a dead man. Hardly people realize that the only truth is the name of “Lord Rama”…Bechare Ramji. It is amazing to hear the talk of the people when they reach to the “cremation place” and put the body in fire, While dead body is been transformed into five elements few of some very famous dialogues:

1.      What is life?

2.      What this body is?

3.      Sab yahin dhara ka dhara rah jayega.

4.      Marne ke baad kaun kiska hai.

5.      Bahot achha aadmi tha.

And then people go home and start the same identity crisis again.

            I am still waiting for the day when only love will win. When there will be only one identity, the identity of humanness and not of the flesh. Sri Sri speaks about this Identity and he calls it “tadatm”. The more tadatm will be present the high degree stiffness in the personality will be. Let the love grow, let the knowledge to transcend. Its true that for a moment being everybody start realizing the truth of identity but I want this time period to be more stretched. So that more belongingness can grow and we can spread love in the air not “Tum aur Main”.

Naxalism of Media: SRI SRI and a twisted fact.

Last night while having my dinner I saw a news, which is being continuously playing. It was looking like a “marry go round”. Same video and same content was being telecast again and again. It was looking like a baby is going to a toffee shop, buy a toffee walk for a mile and then he realizes that he can buy more out of money he has got and he goes back again. The process of showing news was not shocking for me because now I got familiar of this circular route, it happens when the content is not solid and you have to get the TRP of prime time. Poor news channel. But the way things were being presented was actually a shock. The news was comment of SRI SRI on naxalism and govt. schools. In actual words it was flashing; “SRI SRI says: Govt. schools produces naxals”. This one line was enough to create a tsunami for 30 minutes of prime time slots. At that point of time I was remembering my “Thermal energy” paper examination where in one question I was just knowing one sentence and the way I had been elaborated that one sentence into a full fledge answer, typically like and engineering student. The fashion was same but the difference was that this time no engineer was doing that but a journalist was.

Let’s leave aside for a moment what SRI SRI has said. I belong to a naxalite prone state. The state which is rich in natural resources but extremely poor in political management, the state called “Jharkhand”. People have heard of naxalism I actually have felt the heat of naxalism. I remember when I was in class 9^th and my very fast friend came to school with shaved head, in between the bullying of him by the name “Takla” I came to know that his grandfather has been shot by naxals at the place called “Jahanabad”. And that day I first time heard the word “naxal” and “naxalism”. I was feeling sad for my friend because he lost his grandfather. And after that day I atleast noticed the word “naxalism” everyday in the newspaper which used to come at my home. Everyday bloodshed, people dieing sometimes common man, sometimes naxals and sometime the police. The process of dieing was same only the visiting card of the dead body used to change.

Second incident, when I and my family members were going to attend “barat” of my maternal uncle. The place called “Chatra”, a highly naxalite area. My mom did not allow me and my father to go together for that barat just because of the fear she was having. The fear of loosing son and husband together. She was thinking that “If something will happen then at least me or my father will survive”. It sounds scary! Right, yes it was. Somehow we crossed that place in day time and reached safely and came back safely in day time and the whole journey was full of conversation like, bomb, run and death. We were the blessed one that we returned as it is; otherwise there life comes with no guarantee.

I have many incidents to tell but it is immaterial to write what has already happened. We saw a time when my Grandfather’s dead body was lying on the top of an ambulance and we were being robbed. That was the effect of naxalism. But my concern behind writing this blog is that; “If I am the victim then I am the seer also”. The seer of reformations happened in my state. Now things are not as worst as it was before. The same newspaper now published the news of Naxalites surrendering and learning meditation and breathing techniques. Out of all 7 visits to my hometown in last 3 years I have found this news. The nights are less scary and days are more confident. And behind all this there is only one man, SRI SRI. His way of handling the naxals and people with bad habits is amazing. He only says “Where there is no love, no belongingness, there is naxalism”, so he gave his loving hands to people and makes them understand the value of love. His vision to spread love among the people of that society cannot be expressed in words. And now if some news channel is saying that SRI SRI speaks about naxalism and govt. school than it is beyond my imagination. Even I also heard his exact statement about this issue and it was nowhere closer to what he said. I did not find anything grey. But things became grey when our so called responsible media twisted the fact.

This is for all media and media channels, “STOP DOING PROSTITUTION OF FACTS”. If you do not have guts to write the truth than leave, but stop selling sensational twisted facts. I know if you people could have done a proper job than level of our country could have been different and much better than what it is today.

"सत्यम परम धीमहि"

My Fingernails-II...Why this Flash Mob?

Once! I was with my friends and we decided to go somewhere to do party. The mood was absolutely in party mode. The bike was running on full throttle, rider and pillion both were without helmet, singing some yarana songs and discussing the hidden mysteries of life. We were enjoying the every passing wind from under our ears. And suddenly we saw a well dressed “sherwani man” on a female horse, with a group of delicate people slowly moving there hands in the air on the tune of band music. The man on female horse was looking like he is going for some fancy dress competition and he will shout for his troops “Sipahiyo aage badho, aaj hum ye jung jeet ke rahenge”. O I forgot to tell you that he was carrying a sword also. The modern age “Maharana Pratap”. Suddenly my abusive friends used some mother, sister, adjectives for MMP (Modern Maharana Pratap) with line “Spermdaan ke liye itni taiyaari, Behanch***” And guess what an Idea flashed in our mind to electrify the “Spermdaan Movement”. We parked our vehicle few meters away from the troops and then walked like a “Singles” and entered into the troops. Started electrifying dance with some well dressed, heavy weight aunties and face painted, perfume dipped Barbie dolls. Within the second a fresh energy came to MMP’s S’daan movement and we vanished away without food. That was a weird action though but was good way to bring energy. That was the performance which MMP and his troop will remember always. And today I am being forced to remember this incident because of all flash mob videos being published on facebook like a virus. Flash mob Delhi 1, 2, 3, Chandigarh, Banaras, Mumbai, X, Y , Z, Flash mob Kallu ram ki gali, Flash mob house number 56 karolbagh(where only two people were dancing in the dim light of midnight)…lol. Holy Cow. Why Flash mob baba?

            Few days back a young gentleman has got similar question and he asked;”Why this kolaveri di?” Half of the world did not understand the question but somehow managed to get the context. Result was that this question has got biggest hit and most heard question on one single day. The gentleman should thank to Youtube for giving platform to ask this question. Till this everything was good but suddenly I don’t know what happened, I have got different versions of the same question, female version, Punjabi version 1 and 2, bangali version, rap version and every version was like shit of my facebook wall. My wall was more looking like a traditional village wall where rural Indian ladies put cow dung in circular shape for traditional Indian fuel. Then I also asked the same question, why this kolaveri di re baba! In every video I found people are forcing themselves to become like original, in clear words trying hard to copy the idea and the context. Every video smelled like people are so fond of making themselves watched by others. “Attention seeking syndrome”. Google has clearly understood this syndrome and encash this to grow their business. Firstly, google has created youtube to make a database of videos and now he has given all the rights to users to become a celebrity. Flash mob syndrome has caught the same fever. I am still trying to figure it out that what the Idea and purpose was behind the first flash mob at Manhattan in May 2003 but now if any flash mob will happen anywhere near my “galli/mohalla” I shall not give my brain with the idea and purpose. “Make me Hit”…hahahhahaaha. 

            People! I recently watched a movie called “The Rocker” in which there was an actor who was forced to leave the house of his sister (he was living there without paying rent) due to his non working attitude and love for the music. So in extreme condition one video has been created where he was completely nude playing drum and was composing music for his band. So that video was also a “super duper Hit” according to the movie. I am waiting who is going to initiate that idea here in India and I shall see at least 25 versions of that video including some female version. Male readers please stop imagining the video. 

            Youtube and Facebook are rocking the world doing absolutely great to make people self obsessed. These two entities are responsible in taking out some hidden talents (sarcastically) and growing models. O I forgot to thank Picasa or Adobe photoshop also for creating beautiful edited products, where Munni looks like Madona and Munna poses like Brad Pitt. Happiness distributed everywhere.

Desire 10 feet under.

Please read the title of this writing very carefully because at the end, you require to recall, you need to regain what desire 10 feet under is. Somehow I managed to find this title and according to me it is quite appropriate for what I have experienced one day in Nepal. Before this moment I saw, everything was perfectly fine; every event I went through could be defined as perfect vacation trip. I had nice tours of Snow Mountains, lakes, caves, streets and monasteries etc. After covering almost the whole touring spots of Nepal my body begged for a relaxing day. I gave all due respect to my body and allowed it to go into hibernation for one day. I slept quietly on a vacation and at the same point of time I postponed some of my visit of some important places. After a relaxed day and relaxed mind my journey begun again.

            It was a New Year gift from the nature that it wouldn’t allow the whole Nepalese public to see the sun. On same cloudy day I decided to move out of my room to a well known place of kathmandu called “Pashupatinath temple”. The temple which I have heard many times from people’s mouth and that made this destination must visit destination. It is immaterial to say that most of the Indian visit Nepal for two purposes, either “to ask the desire” or “to fulfill some desire” (I belong to none of them). Those who are close to their death or busy in opening the thread of this complicated life visits all possible temples of Nepal and beg for the desire. Second kind of people is in their twenties or thirties visit Nepal to fulfill their sexual desire. So visit defines the purpose and the purpose also depends on the age of the visitor. Without discussing further on the definition of the purpose I will share my experience.

            I entered into the premises of “Pashupati Nath” temple and gave a panoramic look to the whole compound. You cannot expect a place to be clean when almost thousands of people visit daily with their “Hindu” mentality. For me Hindu mentality means we believe in GOD and that GOD is an object of feeling who is sitting somewhere on the top of the head or in the temple for giving what we need. God is having a “Danda” to punish for our wrong deeds and for that we ask for “Kshama” and God is having lots of “materialistic khajana” from which he can give whatever we need. Now for that matter we always try to impress the God with all material stuffs. And no doubt priests take full opportunity to make us fool on this issue, “Higher the price, better the darshan”. I went inside the temple with full faith and sat there for sometime and meditated. After opening my eyes I saw how good priests are bargaining for the desire. So altogether it was not worshiping, it was the dealing of desires. “Ek haath de, dooje haath le”. With a smile on my face I started walking inside the premises and kept on watching people and priests.

            And suddenly I reached to a temple behind the main temple where some old age people were singing some “bhajans” and “aarti”. I liked the way they were playing the instruments and singing. I prefer to spend sometime there, with them I also sung some bhajans till now everything was fine. Suddenly, some sound strike into my ears, sound of people crying. I turned behind moved couple of feet and tried to reach to see what is going on. I reached to the boundary wall of the temple premises and saw a group of people were crying because of death of their beloved one. And just beside that there was a stair which was connecting the temple and the place of cremation area. I stared that stair for couple of minute and I saw that stair was like a connecting link between “Desire” and “No desire”. I mean temple and the cremation area and the height was just 10 feet. 10 feet above where people were busy in begging for desires and trading with god, just 10 feet below nothing exists. No world, No cloths, no perfume, No deo, No car, No home, No beta, No beti and the list is endless noting else matters. Then someone expressed his feeling from behind “Aji marne ke baad aapke ghar wale do din nahi rakhte aapko ghar me”. Sounds funny but true. With all anxiety I left the temple premises immediately and went to a place from where I could see both the scene together. People 10 feet above were looking feverish and greedy. People 10 feet down were looking close to the knowledge of liberation. I spent almost 3 hours over there with absolute silence inside me. Saw 1, 2, 3, 4 cremated bodies and after that I also started enjoying the play of life. And come up with these couple of lines:

“The thing I learned at Pashupatinath temple: Between desire and No desire there is only one thing that is breath...Know Your Breath.”

                                                                        (Effect of facebook: 10 people liked it…lol)