Starting from a toothbrush in my mouth to the last sip of water before sleep I call it a day, so do others. In between these two moments I have to cross an ocean everyday. Sometimes my journey is pleasant, sometime it is other way round. And after finishing the each day’s journey only one question comes in my mind. Who is directing this movie? And why he is so interested in continuing this since ages? So perfect director of a movie where character comes and go, replacement takes place, only faces change not the role. The director’s role is to just send the millions of thought in millions of brain. And character starts their role. Is it not amazing that each and every moment the thoughts are coming and going? And next moment new chain reaction. Like a milestone standing beside the road and car passes each and every moment. WOW.
And then what thought do, very smartly stimulate the feelings. Either a good feeling or a bad feeling, and then like a blind horse I start moving trying to catch good feeling. No doubt next moment I get that good feeling grabbed. Holding tightly like, this is what I wanted, and someone laughs at me and asks: You got it? And next moment a magical wand do a magic leaving me behind with a bad feeling for the same object which I grabbed just a moment before. And I find myself empty handed, standing at the middle of a tide. Tide of thoughts. Then director says: CUT. Next thought, Next feeling and no doubt next race. The amazing thing is in dreams also I am running. LOL.
This four quadrant my of life, which is making a perfect 360 degree, a perfect circle and I am running on the periphery of it. And these quadrants are nothing but the quadrants of mathematics the combination of a variable ‘X’ and ‘Y’ with perfect combination of ‘(+)’ and ‘(-)’. ‘X’ denotes the thoughts and ‘Y’ denotes the feeling.
Quadrant 1: Off course positive thoughts and positive feeling. This is rare moments of my life but I am not untouched of it. The quadrant of Bliss. A deed of mine, when I bring perfect 70mm smile for my fellow runners. It gives me immense pleasure and feels like time has stopped here. And no doubt director also smile on me and say: Yes! That’s the real one.
Quadrant 2: “Change is the only constant thing” no doubt then I move from Quadrant 1 to Quadrant 2. A Negative thought with Positive feelings. Quadrant of Lust. No doubt it gives me pleasure satisfaction and joy but for limited period of time. And the moment I finished that, I left with regret in my mind.
Quadrant 3: Then slowly I find myself on the third slice of a pizza. A negative thought with a negative feeling. The quadrant of greed and jealousy. The beauty of life is it gives me each and every slice. And that’s why I love life. The slice of negative thought is no doubt bitter in taste but I always blame my feelings for it. As an actor I perform that rape scene, killing people and slitting heads. And this is what I am paid for from my director. For a director the villain’s role is as much important as of a hero. And that’s why I started thanking for the journey of third quadrant. I don’t know its good or a bad but for me it’s an act.
Quadrant 4: Then I find myself on a territory of positive thought and negative feeling. The journey of this quadrant is also very interesting. The quadrant of doubt. In this I doubt each and every good thing in my life. I know that if I’ll go behind this thought I’ll be happy but my feelings put an extra amount of cons to it and pros disappear. Someone says: “I trust you” and my mind asks: really?
6AM becomes 12 PM, Monday becomes Sunday, January becomes December and four digit number reaches to its successor. My role changes and no doubt I am becoming an experienced actor every passing day. I am moving through the four quadrants everyday, leaving no stone untouched, satisfying my director. With a toothbrush in my mouth in the morning and last sip of water before my sleep.
