If I am not married (Don’t be serious it’s a joke)

Today I take this opportunity to confess one of my biggest fears. I have no shame or today I am not finding anything awkwardness in confessing this issue. May be after writing this blog some cells of my body will feel relaxed and some hormones will splash with joy. I have no idea from where I got this strength to put these words on paper but after seeing the event which happened with me last evening I had left with no choice.

            My biggest fear in life is marriage. People call it as an institution; I don’t know why they call it as an institution. Another option which I have is may be demolition, destruction, exploitation. My married friends and relatives or people planning to get married please don’t kick me. Both of us know that I will be left with no choice someday, Someday I will have to cross this border and come into your territory.

            One Sunday evening, I and two of my friends were returning from “Mahasatsang” everything was fine till my friend decided to take lift from a car whose destination was same as ours. My idea was to move our bodies through the one of the best facility given by our government, i.e. “Delhi Metro”. My friends had different opinion. After “Mahasatsang” I was in yes mode so I said “yes” to this idea. After little bit of hassle we found a brand new car, whose seat polycover is yet to be tear. The gracious family, wife husband and a baby girl decided to carry our body weight. Journey begun in slight fogy night in the season of “dilli ki sardi”. Nice car, nice ambience, nice people, nice FM music, everything was nice till the baby started crying. And the twist started, she started crying, somehow her mother managed first time and second time. Third time it was uncontrollable. Frankly speaking, at that point of time I was regretting my decision. I was thinking how comfortable a metro journey is, when you have an ipod and a cozy jacket with you. Slowly we were moving till the point of one traffic jam where situation got worst. All the radio jokeys, bhaiyas and didi, mummy and papa, teddies and cat (when I saw that cat I searched for 2 minutes where the mouth of that cat is) failed to stop crying baby princess. That moment I realized babysitting might be more difficult then designing a bike or writing codes on 21 inch computer display. As we know every closed door has an opening and that opening was the idea born in Mr. Husbands mind.

            “Who knows how to drive a car?” suddenly this question has been heard. It was the voice of Mr. Husband. I looked other people and they shown me a complete blank face. The only option was me, and I took the initiative, remembered my “G” and started driving the car. Sitting plan of the car has been changed. Mrs. Wife shifted to back seat, Mr. Husband left to me in front. He took the responsibility to make baby girl happy with his stupid jokes and comments. One very deadly was when he said;”beta choop ho jao nahi to soniya Gandhi aa jayegi” and baby stopped crying. Later he said;”chalo soniya Gandhi bachho ko chup karane me to kaam aayi”. I truelly admire Mr. Husband how he handled the situation and I must say better then her mother.

            In between all ups and downs my mind was surprised, I didn’t even say a single word through out the journey. Right leg on brake and accelerator, left on clutch, one hand on steering and another on gear, and constant smile on my face. Smile which came out of amazement, surprise and fight between my mind and my heart. This is what a typical Indian family is! A job, a hatchback car with polycover on seat, a wife and a baby and lots of tic tac toe.

            Some breed of people find the game of tic tac toe very interesting. Here I doubt my capability of playing this game. Till now my game is “I do what I like, I like the way I live, I live to the fullest and the fulfillment of seeing smile on others faces”. After this event my fear has been increased. I recalled my happiest dream of my life where I am sitting on an island with a very interesting book in my hand and my iPod, till my eye view goes I am not seeing any human being. And then a yellow butterfly is flying coming towards me and sit on my book. Life is like a never ending joke “If I am not married”. Let me laugh.

My Fingernails

My biggest enemies on this planet earth are so mulish, that every time I chop their heads they come up with new. They are just like my sexual thoughts, the more I show them the way to exit the more they knock on my door. My enemies, my finger nails. Since my childhood I had deep respect for them, I use to cut them through my tooth only, no blade, no nail cutter. Funniest thing was once someone suggested me to have a homeopathic medicine for this and crazy doctor gave also. The point is whatever syndrome we have there is a solution for that. In this oxygen riched sphare there are ample amount of syndromes available, spreaded like ink on a tissue paper.

Facebooking syndrome:

Who says god doesn’t exist, then who is this person who created this virtual world. I know some hardcore atheist will not agree to this. I still believe he has created a puppet show out of his logical mind and programming tools. This is a world where we have farms, ships, Adams, Eves and off course virtual apple too. Here user feels like the earth is rotating around me. A world of imaginations, posts, likes, comments, notifications and no doubt pictures with beautiful smile. The only thing which I like about the facebook is everybody looks very happy, satisfied and rich. Most of the times a day start with a notification and ends with last chat box close. I remember when my grandfather use to come back from outside, the first thing he use to do was to wash his hands, legs and face, and now check notification on facebook. There is a very nice story when Kalyug was coming. “Kalyug” not the movie, its time we are surviving in. Kalyug was given place to live in the entire corrupted place like, Casino, Place of prostitution, and the gold. So Kalyug climbed on the head of that time rulling king Parikshit because his crown was made up of gold. I think the same for facebook. I find it in toilet, bed, office even cremation area also, “My old relative died today, I am burning him with tears, Life is a XYZ, 5 people like, 2 comments. Funniest thing is some people like their own comment and post. What should I call them? I don’t have word. It really climbed on the head. A happy guy comes singing, dancing on television saying” I’m always on facebook”, Dude you are not always on facebook, the facebook is on you.

Extreme Love syndrome: hyped, misunderstood, recyclable:

Since last three, four decades there is a group of people taking out money from public’s pocket and tears from their eyes every now and then. The intimacy of love shown on white screen is like mileage shown on automobile broachers, 25kmpl with a star mark. Star mark says on ideal condition. A user gets neither ideal road condition nor 25kmpl. 150 minutes of wild imagination, some starts imagining their first love, some their last. Wife and husband, sitting together, hand in hand, watching a romantic movie thinking of their past. And please ask me what past. Sometimes people fall in love in cinemaghar itself. I remember there was a song of a gentleman picturized like the guy fall in love with a girl in movie theatre. They start noticing each other during the queue in front of ticket counter and luckily the guy gets seat beside the girl, they sit together and in one song they become soul mate. After seeing this situation, 2 years I went to cinema hall with the same dreams that something will happen in my life also. I did not get “P” of that pyar. This industry created a dire need of love in people’s life. The love whose definition never been understood.  Now situation is if someone is alone for more then two months, its abuse for that person. He feels like I am the cursed DNA on this planet earth. My Guruji says; “You can’t do love, how you can do something which you are. You are love, because you born out of love. Its like how can I do Vivek, I am Vivek. This is a difference in being and doing. The love which I admire the most is the love of an old time devotee, who simply written that “Prabhuji tum chandan hum paani, jaake ang baas samani”, the oneness, which comes automatically when love flourishes. Now, sometimes sandalwood changes, sometimes water. The word guarantee is changed to warranty. Like everything this also becomes recyclable. How dare you to ask love in a relationship, we are just friends, we can eat, drink, sleep together, and even we can say “I love you” to each other but When it comes to commitment I will surely look for a safe future. Because I certainly believe that crying with BMW (please don’t read it as Behan Maya Wati) is better then with Alto. These are some common sentences that are on air. This is also like Friday released movie, flop, hit and super hit. There are enough to write on this topic but who cares. I will ask that homeopathy doctor if has something to say about this or he has got some medicine of this syndrome.

I know, syndrome.

If someone comes to you and discuss a very nice beneficial topic and you say,”mujhe pata hai”, then more or less you are also victim of this syndrome. There are chances that many things in life we know, but how much we know is a big question. It’s a human tendency, though we know quarter pie but we think that we know whole circle. And when someone comes up with a fresh packet of information, step by step we do this. First we put our ego in-between. Second, you keep on speaking I am not listening. Third, aah what do you know, I know better then you. Fourth, we decrease the morale of speaker. Finally, deep inside we have a feel good factor, I won. Every time we repeat these five steps, we close the door of listening and taking.

Just imagine! Each and every species around us is ignoring each and every individual. Then what will be the state of mind, dejected, depressed, demoralized. Did we ever think that, this is what we are doing with our self? We are ignoring our body, our breath, our mind, intellect everything. Eating junk, Sleeping junk and thinking junk. Soon there will be human participation in “junkyard’s war”. O god! I wrote all this, Please don’t think that if I am writing, that means I know everything. Answer is no. I am also the victim of this syndrome. Frankly speaking this syndrome is very nice to have with introspection. Like today if I look my past, it makes me happy because of the stupidity I have done before. I had the mind with closed doors till I saw a street dog in chilly winter at 5 AM in the morning trying hard to get warm, struggling to make a space which will provide some heat. After 15 minutes of struggle dog won and then suddenly a car came and run over that dog. Dog’s Life finished at that very moment. Left behind some unanswered questions, then I realized that if I know everything then what I am doing here on this planet earth. Then the journey began the journey of knowing the unknown. The more come to know, the less I know. I don’t know what is this syndrome? But, Yes! I do laugh when someone say “Mujhe pata hai”, “Mujhe bhi pata hai”, immediately my mind give this response. I am still waiting for that state of mind when there will be no question and no answer. Sri Sri says it is a state of mind called “Swayuj”, the point of intersection of line of question and answer.

While typing my eyes went on my fingernails. And guess what, it looks like the place of Khap panchayat. All ten enemies have been chopped down properly without any mercy. But never mind they will grow again, again they will raise their head and challenge me. If anyone is having answer of this question then please reply me back. Why I eat my fingernail?

Turning into a monk - I

“What I have to do to become a teacher?”

This question seems very simple but sometime a simple question becomes a so surprise element that hearing such question brings goose bumps in body. And it transcends you to extremely silent moment where “expressionless” is the best term to define that moment. And no doubt at that point of time words are not enough to explain the joy.

It’s a story of a girl whose complete transformation took only four month. If someone ask me to measure, then I’ shall simply say from one point of quadrant to another point opposite in sign. From negative infinity to positive infinity. And truly speaking this is the magic of a guru. A guru handles you and your mind so efficiently, that even a complicated path becomes simple. Guru takes you to a journey where you never realize the distance traveled. A guru transforms lives in just fraction of a second. A stimulant thought and a voice comes from inside says, I have to do this.

I personally know this girl from the day one of her spiritual birth. Two years before she tasted the flavors of this dish. There is no doubt that she enjoyed the seven days of time span as much as others. She learned some tools and techniques and made new friends, and I was one of them. She was living happily and enjoying each and every bit of her life. We use to interact with each other once in a blue moon. She uses to share the experiences of her practices and I usually try to motivate her to keep moving. The best part of life is that, it allows us to play whatever role we want to play in this theatre and we never realize that when we start loosening our one string. The same thing happened with her also; in the charm of happiness she left the string of spirituality. This was the time we were hardly speaking to each other. It was like connection fading away.

Luckily, four months before we saw each other online and started the long due conversation. It was really a long duration since we last ask each other;” How are you? We found some left out talks and started asking questions. Somehow in between the conversation I realized that something is not fine. Somewhere, something is missing. On the first day I did not felt comfortable in asking the real cause. But, one thought that crossed in my mind was, “I should do something”. I felt like someone is continuously telling me to go forward and ask. I followed my will and started talking regularly. The funniest part was at that she was only telling about her physical problems, suffering from this and that, some allergies of environment to hitting a door and getting a pain. I use to always smile and say;” Everything will be fine”. I knew that its not a physical problem which is hurting her, actual problem is at the top floor of the building. And then a day came when I gave her first blessing with all my faith and prayer. Please take care of her. I don’t know how that worked but she told that it was like fine tuning the old radio. Effect was such like after that blessing she went to office and enjoyed the day. We gave momentum to our conversation and decided to meet.

After long time when I saw her I couldn’t believe myself. The face of the clock was showing 12oclock. Each and every dimension was out, whether it was a physical dimension or mental. Specifically she was giving me a fake smile, a smile which was not supporting her at all. While interacting to her I came to know that; her kites of emotion were flying without any string. I blessed her again and saw some water particles are supporting the gravitational force. I personally believe that a person only show tears when situation is beyond the imagination. It took almost 30 minutes to bring her fake smile back. Silence was the only way to bring her actual spontaneity back. I left that place with one promise that she is going to join the next silence program.

And here comes role of a guru. The best part of a guru is he will set you free, He will allow you to run, and save you just one moment before falling. And that is what happened. Guru pulled her into silence. This was the month of June and a silence program was about to happen in gurgaon. I just passed this information to her with a faith. I had this gut feeling inside me that this is going to be miraculous. The thing, which will make her completely hollow and empty. The four day journey had begun. I still remember her face, her body language on day one, a complete silent and resistive attitude; It was looking like her mind is full of doubt. I suggested her, whatever you are carrying here in your mind just put that into botheration basket. Day passed she went into silence, she did sahaj Samadhi, and the power behind her guided her to take all the right decision at that point of time. She had been facilitated with everything like a child. Program came to an end and I got an opportunity to talk to her. It was my first shock, a completely changed personality with all positive frames of mind. It was like someone did put her into a mould for four days and did all the treatment and made a new package. The way she was laughing, speaking and walking was miraculous.

Story did not end here. Four months before there was a person who use to be apprehensive with each new step became a decision maker, a bundle of joy, a nest of rest. I again disappeared from her connection after that course. One fine day I got her call, a HELLO, like someone is roaring with energy. I presumed this is DSN energy and it was. It was the month of august, and she returned from a program called DSN. DSN with Anandji. Anandji is a person whom I can call a transformer. Anandji has got a capability to transform cat into a lion. Then I realized how smooth she is sailing after crossing one barrier, one bad phase of life. I personally believe this is one of the biggest changes I have seen in my life. She touched each and every aspect of spirituality, whether it’s listening Ashtavakra Geeta, doing group sadhna or Sewa, everything. Now status is she is asking this question;” What I have to do to become a teacher?”

Life never shuts all the doors together; it’s our vision which can see only one direction. When one door is shut we never dare to look the door just next to it. She dared to do that and she is my “Turning into a monk – I”.

"Achievement Joke"

Diwali festival of lights and joy. This diwali I met many people, people of different genre, people of different ages and people of different dreams. People really made their smile costlier. People counting the stairs of the success at he cost of their smile. With every increasing digits in the salary making more robotic. People are becoming so rigid that, they are not ready to welcome happiness. Irony is they belive that nothing can chage the way of their living and this is destiny.

One set of people, aspiring for better future, sharpening their chisel which will make a way to success. Cirtainaly each and every moment their goal is in their mind. Any how to get one seat in apex engineering college o medical college. A group of people, shy, lines of worries on face, Influenced and pressurized. Influenced with the success stories, Its a position where life is really on fire. And they really think that grass of a degree college is really green. Pressurized with the thought of their parents and evergrowing expectation. Its like holding tonnes of load and crawling. But Inbetween influence and pressure there are some moments smile on their faces. Ready to accept good Ideas and situations which can bring some changes in their life, like a plant growing at the surface of jungle always looking up for sun ray to reach to them.

Story of tree which is already exposed to the sun light is slightly different. A tree with deep rooted roots and strong stem. A group of engineers freshly graduated from college joined corporate race. A set of youth, where youthfulness, energy and enthusiasm is just a word. For them life is like a tickeling clock of 8hrs job and after that there is no existence of rest 16hrs. A four years of their degree period raped them, took everything and given a thick A4 sheet, cirtifying achiever. Smile became a leap year which will come once in a four year.

A big question is why success takes everything from people, takes their smile, the enthusiasm, the energy and make them a dead man walking. Mentality so confined that cannot think beyond routine life. Is this what we are loking for? Is achievent a joke?

We cirtainly forgot that life is joy and celebration. Celebration not only on Holi or Diwali but everyday. Everyday opening a new door of hapiness. Everyday checking letterbox and opening a letter of hapiness, nevermind someday if letter is blanked. It doesn't matter what we achieve in life but It really matters that whatever we have achieved, we don make it a joke.