Sakshi Bhav "An Observer"

It was totally dark, and I couldn’t able to see a beautiful girl sitting next to my seat. But the thing that I could see was people were jumping on their seats and holding the hands of person next to them and the whole environment was like popcorn in a hot bowl. And just in front of me there was a white screen and on that, was a miserable guy suffering from food poisoning, farting hard, pushing stomach and abusing. It was a movie called “Delhi Belly”.  Almost two and half hours of screenplay in which most of the time people were stuck in miseries, surrounded by problems except for one scene where a sealskin lady was peeling off the banana using fork and knife. The people really enjoyed that movie and it was topic of discussion for almost a week in my office and some people went twice to hear those abuses in Hindi and English and I was one of them.

My imagination went to that point where I am replacing one of the characters and watching people laughing at me (except for the corner seat occupied couple who are busy in kissing each other). Lol.  I am having a severe stomach pain because of some testicle touched fried chicken and having no water to wash my ass. I am using my friend’s orange juice to clean the nozzle. Now at this point of time I am the most miserable person. My pain and suffering is bigger than any other person on this planet earth. At this point of time, I shall definitely pray to god;” please take all my sufferings as soon as possible. In similar fashion I can replace myself to various characters, sometimes I am finding myself hung from ceiling and a gun is pointing at me, or a big SUV is chasing me. In every situation and in each character I am seeing the same scene that a group of people is laughing at me. For them, more the situation is complicated, more the laughter is. I call them “An Observer”. For an observer it hardly matters who is scratching who’s pussy with his beard, the only thing that matters is the mourn sound which will bring joy and laughter.

This is the story of my real life. This life is full of twist and turns, I am having pains, I am having sufferings, I am having loose motions, I am having break ups and I am facing all kinds of situation which can take tears out of my eyes but my life is amazing, I bet! It’s really amazing to see from an observer’s point of view. An observer who only knows the definition of laughter and joy, who actually paid for this entertainment, for him Life is an entertainment. If you don’t believe me then see the person next to you either you are in office, home or any damn place. How does it really matter to him or her that last night you had a very bad night or this morning you are suffering from constipation? And look at the same person and think; “My God! Is gadhe ki zindagi me kitna problem hai, rota hi rehta hai hamesha.” Did smile come on your face? On a lighter side you can also do this “Mujh gadhe ki zindagi me kitna problem hai, rota hi rehta hai hamesha”.

It sounds very complicated but not impossible. Some people may ask this question; “How can I be an observer of my own life”? Or “How can I laugh at my own life’s miseries?” This question itself has got answer. Because fact of the matter is most of us don’t even dare to think of this question. We always love to be a victim rather than becoming an observer, and then we ask “Why I am suffering?” rather than asking the previously motioned question. Truth is, that if we are ready to carry victim’s profile then we don’t have the right to ask this question that; “why I am suffering?” Victims are born to suffer. Anyway the crux is observer is always happy and not a victim is and this is the guarantee of happiness. But irony is we have lost in business, visiting cards (AGM, Sr. Executive, Executive or CEO of a sewage plant where shit is being put in big mixer grinder). We have lost in branded cloths, upgraded car models and “Freshly architecture Home sweet home”. After building the whole empire we have fear of losing it and then we ask “Why Me?”  Off course you my dear friend, because you have not created the empire of objects what you are seeing, you have created an empire of situations, and now you have became a victim of those situations, victim of objects and victim of personality. Rishi Nityapragyaji says; “Is jeeven me dukh naam ki koi cheez nahi hoti, sukh hota aur sukh jab kam hone lagta hai to use hum dukh ka naam dene lagte hain”

               So next time in the world of personality, object and situation if you are suffering from loose motion then sit on the commode and try to become an observer and observe the whole process of liberation, sounds funny right? It is funny for that instance, but it’s true also, because whether it’s a child, an adult or an old age person deep inside everyone is thinking that “I am the same”. Something inside did not grow with my skin. And trust me that consciousness is “an observer” inside you. This is the paradigm of awareness. Be aware what game is being played, who is player and who is observer. This is what it called “Sakshi Bhav” mentioned in “Ashtavakra Geeta” a fanatic knowledge book.

"Wisdom Seller"

Scene 1: Monday, 8AM:

All set for MM9, Monday morning 9AM, the place where dreams turn into reality. I never understood whose dream turns into reality, dream of company or dream of employee. Asking for dream reality concept at 9Am in the morning is never digestible to me; this is why most Monday morning I use toilet of my office. If given chance I would rather prefer to sleep and see dreams and then some other day I shall try to turn it into reality. But it is impossible so let’s talk possible, The truth is, I have to wake up and prepare myself for that Carnot cycle (Only those who studied mechanical engg or studied properly in high school can understand carnot cycle, If you are not google it.). I got ready for MM9 did my entire morning activity and went to have breakfast. As I told that it’s Monday so no time to cook breakfast. I went outside to have “Aaloo ke parathe,(People those who are reading this in south India check your mouth some water is falling) while I was totally involved in enjoying each bite of that paratha suddenly my eyes went in front. A liquor shop, a shop with less promotion and advertisement, not exactly visible from all sides of the market also. And then the activity of mine shifted and was doing two different things together, my hand and my mouth were busy in creating resonance for the food in front of me and my eyes stuck to that liquor shop. One person appeared in the counter, spent approximately 4 minutes and then opened the seal and took two sips of “Kalyug Amrit” and rest put in his pocket, immediately two lines triggered in my mind which I have read some times back behind a truck

            सतयुग में अमृत मिला, द्वापर में मिला घी
            कलयुग में दारु मिली, खूब दबाकर पी.

Its unbelievable but within 10 minutes of that breakfast period I notice almost 15 to 20 customer. Even the shopkeeper did not think of doing worship after opening the sutter of the shop, he just started selling. When congestion got over shopkeeper took out “Agarbatti” and offered gratitude to the God.

Scene2: Monday, 8PM   

Monday evening of December, temperature is going down in town. 8PM was almost looking like late night. In the yellow color street light the smoky fog was also appearing like backdrop of an old movie. Flies were enjoying the “merry go round” around the florescent street light. Stoppage time of 120 seconds remained cars came stopped; some were playing loud music to forget the frustration of MM9. Bikers were rubbing their hand as it got frozen because of the cold and the taxi drivers were spitting from their window the chewed supari and saliva from their mouth. Suddenly a man appeared. Man in his late twenties wore a sweater and pant, a bag back on his shoulder that looked heavy. He was knocking each and every driver seat window and having a 5 second chat with them. I thought he is asking for lift. It looked interesting to me so I continuously stared at him and his activities, he came closer, then I saw he is holding something in his hand. Some thick books, then I thought he is a salesman selling dictionaries at traffic signal. I thought what a way to do marketing of products; people can’t spare traffic signal also. For me he looked same as other traffic signal vendors who sale tissue paper box, car cushions, mobile chargers and other accessories. I was happy that no one is giving him proper response, till he came closer to me. Instantly my happiness turned into a different expression, an expression of regret. I was regretting my judgmental thoughts when I saw a U shaped “chandan” on his forehead. He has got a divine glow on his face with the silence and expression of unconditional smile. He was a “wisdom seller”, a devotee of Krishna, a yogi. A yogi, who was doing sewa in his free time and was giving “Shreemad Bhagwat geeta” to people at very reasonable price, He was distributing the way of life, the reason of unconditional love, the source of immense joy, the tool of never ending smile. Though people were not giving him a single response but smile on his face was intact, not a single line of worries. Then he came to me, I greeted him: Jai Shree Krishna, He replied with same enthusiasm and joy. It was like two known people meeting after long time. I seriously felt a connection between us. And why not! It was the connection of “Krishna”.

Yogi: Would you like to buy these books?

I: I already read Bhagwat Geeta.

Yogi: So, nice! Are you doing your chanting daily?

I: No I belong to different spiritual group, I do meditation.

Yogi: Jai Shree Krishna

I: Jai Shree Krishna.

This 10 second of meeting energized me. I felt very nice and started smiling which I have lost because of MM9. The meeting was small but effective. I hope he also got some energy and enthusiasm to spread happiness.

The reason of writing this blog is not these two events which I observed but the practical experience of one doha of “Kabira” an old saint. I actually forgot the exact wordings but have some faint idea of the meaning. Which says: “Alcohol sells itself but to sell milk we have to go door to door” (If someone find exact wordings please let me know). This is the biggest irony of our life. A pesticide mixed pepsi sells higher then butter milk; no doubt why mothers in Mc Donalds scold her child to finish burgers. This is how it is, friends make you feel regret if you did not see a movie called “Delhi Belly”. Kya! Tune who movie nahi dekhi….aahhh”, but give this expression if you tell them to accompany you to gurudwara “yaar kal chalet hain na, aaj mood nahi hai”. And still we say “Har ek friend zaroori hota hai”. I don’t care how many bottles get open in the morning everyday or how many “divine books” that “wisdom seller” will sell on the traffic signal, because one thing is very sure confined mentality and shrink thoughts cannot see the disgrace of alcohol and grace of divinity. People argue to me “why do I need Art of Living or a Guru?” I say neither you need Art of living nor you need a guru. You just need the guts. Guts to face yourself in the mirror while saying “I am Unconditionally Happy”.

@ 25

“If it’s not 25, It’s not enough”, this is what a recent TV commercial is saying. Really! It’s not enough or it’s enough. After celebrating 25 Happy Birthdays may be its time to check enough or not enough business, the flavor of the cake and where the cherry is. Undoubtedly the flavor of 18^th cake and the 25^th cake is not same, neither the people who brought that 18^th cake, some of them are there but not all. Pocket money became Salary, Yahoo chat became Blackberry messenger. And I became mamaji of my first girlfriend’s son.  Holly Cow.

This is the age where most of us have already crossed the major turmoil of life, turmoil of studies, relationship and all crazy needs. Now there is no fight of thoughts for a 10 megpixel camera phone or 50% + 40% sale on outlet, 10 becomes the rating at the job and want 40% to 50% hike in salary, numbers remained same content column modified. Somehow the attitude of proving has come to a halt. Attitude of proving means show off in simple words. Some of the content of checklist has already been ticked, like already proved that; I can pass class 10^th, 12^th and graduation, so I am a good student. Already proved to dad that I can get a good job and handsome salary, so I am a Saput (Good Son in English, precisely a son who is not the bojha(weight) on father’s head. Already proved to the first girlfriend that I am nalayak, I don’t know how to take responsibility. And this is for those who are not virgin, they already proved to their partner (whosoever it is) that yes I know how to achieve orgasm.

“Aap bade hoke kya banana chhahte ho beta”; someone asked me this question at the age of 6. I immediately replied: Postman. Loud laughter did spread in the air, I amazed. Why these idiots are laughing. Then I wanted to become Train driver, Truck driver, Navy, IAS, Rapist (after reading rape cases in newspaper) and what not. Last time when I had a fight with my dad, I wanted to become a Journalist and He wanted me to become a mechanical engineer. He washed my brain like tide safedi with all fake stats and finally I became mechanical engineer with no mechanics. My mom used to say me, if you shall get a job of rupees 3000/- I shall be happy. Now I am earning 20 times more, but still she is not happy. 15 back years I saw 20 professional dreams and now no dream. Now the only dream is to see a text message at the end of the month in my cell phone;” Salary is credited”. Also, at 25 some of us change our job like daily underwear to get the happiness and we get shit everywhere. Stupid interviewers ask questions;” Why do you want to change your job?”And that time only answer comes;” Saale! Jab tujhe pata hi hai to fir kyon pooch raha hai”. Paisa boss, paisa. Only reason to change the job. Sri Sri always says;”There is nothing called, Job Satisfaction. This word should be removed from the dictionary”. I also feel If you want money, do job. If you want satisfaction do sewa.

My dad had a 22inches Hercules bicycle. It was black in color with green seat on it. In one of regular dream I use to see that my legs have grown up and I am sitting on that green color seat and riding that big bicycle. Suddenly a screamed voice;” Arey utho! School nahi jana hai kya? No doubt that was my mom’s voice. When I’ll become young and ride that bicycle? Somehow I managed to learn half paddle. Half Paddle! In which rider don’t sit on the seat of a bicycle, rider’s armpit rests on it. Left hand on handle holding left hand side of break, right hand holding the centre pipe of the cycle. It was like an oversized bra hanging on a hanger. This half paddle riding was one of the biggest achievements that I can say someone that I know how to ride a bicycle. Bicycle was not the source of the joy; the joy was to ride that with free mind. Evening 4 pm to 6 pm noone was allowed to say that;”chalo pair haath dho aur padhai karo”. The wow feeling, no padhayi only cycle ghumayi. With increasing salary of my dad, the bicycle became a bajaj scooter then hero Honda motorcycle and a 4 wheeler. A 4-wheeler cannot buy the same joy as of half paddle 22 inch bicycle. The one more point is when I sit in a 4 wheeler I feel my ego growing; I change from everybody to somebody, which is actually nobody. That’s why my company also says “personal mobility” is a joy with 2-wheeler only.

“LOVE”, hahahahahaha…Most fermented, decomposed, baked, unsaturated topic of 25. Here I will not write about the love with parents, guru, or whosoever is the perfect example of love. Here I shall talk about the quantified situation of relationship between a boy and a girl. Now time has come to accept it because now media is selling it in open market. This is the age where most of the friend of mine started reaping horizontally, Mind you I am talking about “Pariwar Vistaar”. This is the age where some of my friend got married (Especially female), some are planning and some are confused. My friends lot size started reducing, like a vegetable market of Tuesday evening in my sector, because of the change in priority. Off course married ones will give priority to their spouse rather then friends otherwise their spouse will kick their ass and make them remember that blue is also a color. This is a secret that some of my friend still call me and ask “yaar kuch khane ko hai.” I never asked them;”Tere ghar me khana kyon nahi bana”. Once, very close friend of mine rightly said;” If my wife is sad then she will not cook and If she is happy then also she will not cook because she will say; “darling! Chalo na bahar khate hain”. In both the case ghar me khana nahi banega. The marriage word itself divert me from the topic.

The only thing inspired me to write this blog is relationship (before marriage). The thing which has been a gift or a curse, it is still a mango of winter season. I am sure most of us will agree to this that at this age marriage is just like a greeting of a beautiful air hostess of a famed airline company, just like a formality you know. Have to do so‘ll do. Most of us will do just for the sake of two god gifted managers sitting on our head. God has sent them to take decisions and pour that decision in the name of grace. This may be contrary if someone of us is in a relationship, a divine love. Most of us had been tasted this choco lava twice, thrice or at least one. The choco lava of love and breakup. With every set of new choco lava box some set of action and reaction comes, that includes, love, talks, more talks, late night talks, promises, kisses, cuddles…..fill in the blanks….judgments, fights, patch ups, again fights, and finally break up. The voice changes from “How similar we are” to “Go to hell”. Search begins again. Some of my friend became so rigid that after eating this flavor of choco lava, they hold their ears, but concept still remains the same that I do believe in love. For some people this set of love make them wear a black glass, now whatever they see it looks black in color. The word acceptance is most difficult word for them. They lost their faith in love of guru also. Their mind became so judgmental that they judge the selfless services. And every time I hear to those people I really feel bad for them. It’s like they sold their last boat that they had and they are afraid of changing the boat now. Though SRI SRI says; “Changing the boat will never help, if you don’t know how to row it”. It is absolutely true. What happened! if the train in which you were traveling met with an accident? Change the train rather then having a fear of not traveling again. Spontaneity should remain the quality of personality, come what may. It’s as simple is that the thing which has been assigned to you will come to you and which is not either it will not come or not retain. Each and every moment the world is changing so never mind in changing. “Change is the only constant thing yaar”. I am not talking about the Rupees “change” so please don’t misunderstand it; anyhow nowadays in the name of “change” the counter boy gives toffees. I am in search of the person who invented this idea.

                                                (The Journey of 25 Calendars…to be continued…)